Sex and Yoga

Sex, like food and money, is part of life and something we can't ignore. Yoga means balance, and this extends to sex as well. Many people approach sex from a place of lack and have it when they can, rather than when circumstances are truly conducive. The conscious person, when confronted with a take it or leave it situation, often leaves it as a matter of course. One's sexual life is often something which can take decades to bring into balance. People often use sex as the arena in which to validate themselves, revisit old wounds, and to try to find meaning in life. It is a very fortunate person who can learn early on that sexual energy can be immediately translated into powerful creativity and healing and that sex should be considered sacred. Even though energy is infinite, it is only infinite in us when we tune our physical vehicles accordingly. In the manner that it 'takes money to make money,' it also take energy to receive energy. The extent to which we can find balance in sex, food, etc., often determines the trajectory of our lives.

Some people, when they start Kundalini Yoga, decide to go on a "sex fast," for up to a year, to help repair their nervous systems from overindulgence in sexual activity in their earlier years. According to yoga, a man's nervous system isn't fully mature until about age 26, and too much sexual activity before that age is contraindicated. Women mature faster but this applies to them as well.

Kundalini Yoga doesn't take a moral stance against masturbation or any other aspect of sex. However, it does take the position that it is possible and preferable to sometimes transmute the sexual urge into creativity and self healing, rather than let it be dissipated. If you are not with a partner, and/or for spiritual reasons, want to transmute sexual urges, we recommend Frog Pose, Camel Pose, and Sat Kriya which is on our Delete Depression set on the Yoga Quick Fixes DVD (among other of our titles).

Another way to overcome desire in the moment is to inhale, hold the breath, and intensely feel the desire. As you exhale, slowly let it go. Breathing very slowly (8 times per minute or less) will help transform sexual desires on the spot.

In the Hatha Yoga tradition, in which celibacy plays a role, they warn against the use of onion and garlic because they are said to stir up "passions." In the Kundalini Yoga tradition, onion and garlic are prescribed for their healing properties because Kundalini Yoga is ideally able to transmute sexual energy.

There are many theories about sex and yoga, but we have seen that the healthiest, most balanced people, are the ones who have regular sex in a loving relationship. For many people, and for many reasons, it is not always possible to have regular sex in a loving relationship. If that is the case, it is a great time to intensify your spiritual practice and prepare yourself for when the optimal circumstances present themselves.

There are specific techniques in Taoist Yoga and some yoga traditions which advocate forced retention of semen. In Kundalini Yoga, it is felt that this approach (sort of like the caste system in India) is actually a mundane (and erroneous) interpretation of a more subtle concept. Kundalini Yoga advocates having normal sex but in moderation. The meaning of moderation is different for everyone. Some yogis say that sex once a month is the ideal. We feel that for most people, around two times a week is more realistic.

Yoga theory says that it takes 80 bites of food to create 1 drop of blood and 80 drops of blood to create 1 drop of semen (or intra-uterine blood). According to yoga, semen when transmuted, becomes ojas, life essence, which is sort of a rarefied form of cerebral spinal fluid which facilitates the rising of Kundalini energy and lubricates the brain. The concept behind that is that it is good to save some energy for the inner work rather than expend energy indiscriminately. Kundalini Yoga theory states, that with regard to sex, quality is more important than quantity.

Kundalini Yoga states that when two people have loving sex there is a blend of auras and both people actually get more energy back. So, bottom line, what Kundalini Yoga advocates is a balanced lifestyle which entails loving sex and a committed relationship. Sex is more than just a joining of bodies, it's also an energy experience. In some spiritual traditions, there is the opinion that sex with too many people can muddy up one's energy and psyche, and that, on some level, the people with whom we have sex will continue to affect us, and vice versa. If you find validity in that assumption then it is important to consciously pick your partners.

You are right in thinking that a regular Kundalini Yoga practice with its direct work on the endocrine system will balance your hormones over time. This can be sped up by making a few very important lifestyle changes.

It's also very meritorious that you recognize that your down times are hormonal so you can keep them in perspective and sort of ride them out, knowing them for what they are, 'til the good times roll around again!

We suggest cutting out caffeine for now so as not to increase feelings of anxiety and to help alkalize your body.

We also suggest adding more raw foods to your diet. Starting the day with a hydrating protein smoothie made with anti-inflammatory ingredients (pineapple, ginger, lime, etc.) would be a great start (see: morning smoothie post on this archive).

A salad everyday and fresh organic fruits and vegetables as well as healthy fats such as avocados, and raw oils would be great additions to your diet.

Important supplements are calcium (1000mg), magnesium, vitamin D, B6 and an essential fatty acid.

Meditation is one of your most valuable tools in curing your PMS! There are many meditations which work on the endocrine glands and at the same time will lesson stress (a huge contributor to PMS). Meditation will also give you the overview necessary to know that what you are feeling is a transitory thing. Often we will feel an emotion, a darkness maybe, when a hormonal shift occurs and instead of calling it for what it is: a temporary emotional cloud that will soon blow away on the next breeze, we search for a reason for this emotion and once we give it a reason for being it spirals us towards more negative thinking.

Even 11 minutes of meditation a day will help give you important perspective and help to lessen the severity of the highs and lows. Here is a great breath meditation you might try: Sit with a straight spine. Focus at the Third Eye. Inhale in 15 successive breaths (sniffs really) and exhale in 15, all through the nose. On the first 15 part inhale think Sa 15x. As you exhale in 15 parts think Ta. Then Na on the inhale and Ma on the exhale. Try to do this very powerful meditation for 11 min. and slowly build up to 31 min. Do it 31 min. per day for 120 days. At the end of the meditation sit in silence for at least 1 min., focusing at the brow, breath long and light.

We don't know if you've been to a doctor to get your hormone levels checked. That might be a good thing to do so someone can keep an eye on your levels and to ascertain that that is what's going on.

We wish you joy, health, and abundant blessings!